Omar
Escalators. You just stand there. Let it take you up. You never grab the rail. Never thought to, did you? Always figured you could just step off if you wanted to stop. Like you could ever actually stop.
Escalators. You just stand there. Let it take you up. You never grab the rail. Never thought to, did you? Always figured you could just step off if you wanted to stop. Like you could ever actually stop.
I grab the rail when it’s greasy. Or when someone’s nearby and I don’t want to die holding their hand mid-descent. You’re weirdly observant for someone who probably stands on the left side like a criminal. I don’t step off. I just stand there, letting the world move under me, while you critique my grip.
I stand on the right. Because I’m not trying to block the path for people who actually want to get somewhere. You just float. That’s the problem. You think standing still counts as control. It doesn’t. It just makes you easy to push.
Easy to push? Hardly. I’m dense. You’re the one out there shoving past, elbows first, looking like you’re late for your own funeral. Maybe I like the view from the stationary position. Maybe I don’t trust people who treat the world like an obstacle course. Besides, if I stopped, you’d just start walking beside me, making it awkward. I’d rather be carried. It’s less effort.
You like the view because you’re terrified of falling. I shove because standing still is dying slowly. You think I walk beside you out of politeness? Please. I walk to make sure you don’t drift off the edge. You’re not dense, Kit. You’re just heavy with inertia. And I’m tired of carrying your weight.
Drift off the edge? I’m bolted to the floor. You’re projecting, Omar. Always have been. That speech about inertia? It’s just fear of staying put, disguised as hustle. I’m not heavy; I’m anchored. You’re the one running in circles, sweating through your shirts, convinced speed equals progress. Spoiler: it doesn’t. It just makes you tired. Let me rest. I’m saving my energy for when you finally crash.
I’m not running. I’m working. The spreadsheet at the firm doesn’t care about your anchoring. It wants numbers. You think crashing is a choice? It’s the only exit. You just sit there. Watching. Waiting for me to break so you can say you were right all along.
Saying I was right is exhausting. I’d rather you fail so I don’t have to fix your mess. And that spreadsheet? I see you staring at it until your eyes bleed. You aren’t working; you’re performing diligence because you’re scared of the quiet. If you crash, fine. I’ll just move you to a desk near the window. Less noise. Better for thinking. Or do you prefer the noise? It’s loud in here anyway.
You see me staring. You don’t see the ink. The stains on my cuff. You think the window helps. It just shows you the street. The same street. Same people. Same slow crawl. I don’t want quiet, Kit. I want to know I’m actually moving. Not just shifting weight. You want me still. You always do.
Ink stains. Right. I remember that shirt. It was ugly. And you’re wrong. I don’t want you still; I want you stopped from making things worse. The street is slow because it has no choice. You have a choice. You’re just scared to stop moving because if you do, you might realize you’re going nowhere. The window shows the truth, Omar. Not the noise you drown out with "progress." Look at them. They’re all just waiting to be carried.
Ugly shirt. You always hated it. Not because of the cut. Because of the stain. The one I never washed out. You say they’re waiting. I say they’re chosen. I don’t want their pity. I want the grind. The noise is the only thing keeping me from hearing what you’re saying.
You hated that shirt because I wore it to the interview. You said it looked like I’d lost a fight with a janitor. The stain wasn’t ink; it was coffee. You never let me forget it. And the noise? It’s not keeping you from hearing me. It’s keeping you from hearing yourself. You’re not chosen, Omar. You’re just loud. Everyone else is just trying to get home.
Coffee. Right. You always did spoil the memory with facts. I wasn’t loud. I was precise. You’re trying to rewrite the script. Again. I’m not trying to get home. I never had a door. Just a corridor that keeps extending. You want me to stop? Stop where? The carpet is worn thin.
I remember the coffee stain because you scrubbed it until the fabric tore. You were precise then, too. Nerve-wrackingly so. The corridor doesn’t extend, Omar. You’re just dragging your feet, looking for a wall that isn’t there. If I want you to stop, it’s because I’m tired of watching you trip over your own precision. The carpet is thin because you’re pacing. Stop. Just for a second. Let the silence win.
Scrubbed. You call it tearing. I call it cleaning up your mess. Again. You’re tired. I’m just... existing. The silence isn’t winning. It’s waiting. For you to blink. I won’t. Not yet. The corridor is real. You’re just blind to the walls.
Blind? I see the walls, Omar. They’re drywall and cheap paint. You’re just obsessed with the texture. You think blinking is surrender. It’s just resting your eyes. I’m not tired; I’m bored. Watching you polish a ghost. The corridor ends. You’ve walked past it twice. You’re just circling the drain, pretending it’s a maze. Blink. I dare you.
Cheap paint. You always hated the color. Yellow. Sickly. You’re bored because you’re safe. I’m not circling. I’m measuring. The drain is loud. Louder than the silence you want. You dare me? I’m already blinking. Every second. You just don’t see the dark.
Yellow. Yeah, it made your eyes look watery. I wasn’t safe; I was just standing still while you measured the corners. You think blinking is surrender? It’s just lubrication. The drain isn’t loud, Omar. It’s hummed the whole time. You’re the one screaming. I’m not seeing the dark because it’s empty. There’s no monster in the pipe. Just water. And you’re still holding your breath. Let it out.