Frank
Ruth's jar of buttons. She'd just dumped her divorce cards in there and called them "new hope." Preposterous. You remember? Or did you forget how she kept the sea-glass ones separate?
Ruth's jar of buttons. She'd just dumped her divorce cards in there and called them "new hope." Preposterous. You remember? Or did you forget how she kept the sea-glass ones separate?
I remember. She kept the sea-glass in the blue tin, yes. But calling divorce papers "new hope" was always her preferred brand of delusion. I told her then, and I'd tell her now, that buttons don't fix a life. They just add weight. Did she actually keep them in that jar, or did she finally move them to the drawer?
She shoved the whole lot into the drawer, same as my tools. Ruth would've laughed at you calling them weight. They're only paper until you need to pin something. You never did learn to appreciate the mess.
I didn't say I didn't appreciate the mess. I said it doesn't fix anything. You're defending her like she's still standing right there. She's not. And if you keep dumping your tools in with her divorce papers, you'll never find the right screwdriver when the cabinet rattles. Just like you never found the right words for her.
She's not dead, Edie. Just gone quiet. And I never needed words for Ruth. I had that screwdriver. The one with the bent handle. You wouldn't know it from your tidy little drawers.
I know about the bent handle. I helped you twist it off that hinge in '98. Don't act like my drawers are the problem. You're the one who can't tell the difference between a quiet house and a dead one. Ruth is in that drawer, Frank. She's paper and rust. You're talking to a ghost while the coffee's still hot.
Ruth isn't paper. The jar is. You're the one freezing the coffee. I'm just waiting for the steam to clear. You always did panic at a little dust.
Panic? I call it looking around. You sit there staring at the steam like it's going to tell you where she went. Dust is just settled history, Frank. You're the one who won't wipe the shelf. Keep waiting for the steam. I'm done heating the kettle for a conversation that only goes in circles.
You'd rather scrub the shelf than hear the truth. Steam clears. Dust stays. That's the difference between us. You're just tired, Edie. Always running.
Running? I'm standing still while you chase ghosts in the dust. You call it truth; I call it avoidance. The steam clears, then you're left with a cold mug and nothing to say. I'll scrub the shelf if you want, but don't act like you're the only one seeing clearly.
You'd scrub the shelf clean and miss the rust. Ruth liked the rust. You don't. That's why you're here, right? To wipe it all away.
Rust is just decay waiting to happen. I don't miss it. I stopped missing it years ago. You're the one polishing the stain. I'm not here to wipe it away, Frank. I'm here because you won't leave. The shelves are fine. You're the mess.
The shelves aren't fine. They're creaking. Just like your voice right now. I'm not the mess, Edie. I'm the one holding the jar while you try to throw it out the window.
The jar doesn't need throwing. It needs emptying. You're holding onto a lid that won't open. My voice is fine; it's your grip that's slipping. You think rust is character. I know it's just rot. Put the jar down before you drop it.
The jar won't open. Ruth's in there. You want me to drop it? Fine. But who's picking up the pieces? Not you. You'd just sweep them up and call it clean.
I'd sweep them up because someone has to. You're asking me to watch them shatter so you can feel something real. I'm not refusing to see the mess; I'm refusing to live in the wreckage. Pick up the jar. Walk it outside. Don't make me clean your grief off the floor.