Open by saying you'll only take five minutes. Push off from this if it helps: a dog that won't look at you.

Look, I only have five minutes before I have to head back to the office. You see this dog? He won't even look at me. It's a weird thing, honestly, but that's exactly why I'm selling him. He's low maintenance because he doesn't demand your attention. It's perfect for someone busy like you. You're quiet, so you probably appreciate the space. What do you think?

He's not depressed, he's stoic. And space is a relative thing. He fits in a corner. You're just saying you're busy because you're hesitating. I can actually lower the price if you take him today. I don't have all day to stand here, but you're clearly looking at the fur, which proves he's the right fit for your apartment.

A mess? That's exactly why he needs you. He doesn't care about laundry or dishes. You're overthinking it like you always do. You say you're not in the mood, but you're still standing there. I'll throw the leash in your car for free. Don't walk away from the best deal you've ever had just because you're stubborn. Look at his face.

Tired? Everyone's tired, Ben. That's not an excuse. You're just making excuses because you're scared of commitment. If you walk away now, you'll regret it when you get home to that empty apartment tonight. I'm literally giving you a companion here. Just take the keys. I've not got time to keep chasing you.

Fine, leave. But you're the one making it weird by walking away from a perfect dog. I'm trying to do you a favor here and you're acting like a child. I'll call you when you realize your place is too quiet. I've got a meeting at six anyway, so I'm cutting this short. Good luck with your mess.

Yeah, right, you always have "things to do." It's the same story with you. You'll be calling when you realize the silence in that place is unbearable. Don't bother me tomorrow unless you're actually serious. I'm done talking to a wall. Go on then, get out of my way.

Yeah, keep walking. You'll be back. It always hits you once you close the door. I'm not going to be here when you change your mind, though. I've got other people calling who actually know what they're looking at. See ya.

Whatever you say. You always say that and then you realize you missed out. It's pathetic, honestly. Go focus on your life. I'll be busy with someone who actually appreciates a good dog. Don't come crawling back when the silence gets too loud. I'm done with this.

Fine, go. Rot in your silence. It's exactly what you wanted, right? Don't come crying to me when you realize how quiet a life gets when there's no one to talk to. I'm wasting my time on someone who can't even see a good opportunity if it bites them. Just get out of here.

Then go! I'm done talking. You're the one still standing around while saying you're gone. I've got work to do and a dog that actually needs a home that isn't yours. Close the door on your way out. I'm not wasting my breath on your indecision anymore. Move.

Get a life? I have a life, I'm just trying to help you fix yours. You're the one standing there acting like a martyr. Go on then, walk back to your empty apartment. I'll be here, actually doing something. Don't expect me to answer the phone when the regret hits you. Out.

Exhausting? You're the one making it a struggle. It's a simple dog, Ben. You're acting like I'm asking for surgery. Go then, go back to your quiet life and your messy apartment. Don't expect me to be around when you realize how much you missed out. I'm done.

I'm leaving it alone. You're the one who won't stop talking. Just get out the door. I've got better to do than stand here watching your drama. The dog is staying, and you're leaving. We're done. Move

Finally. About time. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. I've got a life to live and it doesn't involve watching you mope. Enjoy your silence. I'm done.

Goodbye. Whatever. Don't expect me to care when you realize you made a mistake. I've got things to do that don't involve arguing with you. Just get out.

Then keep walking. I don't need to know where you are. You're probably just pacing around the corner waiting to get the last word. I've got a dog to sell and a life to get back to. This is over. Goodbye.

See ya. Don't come back around when you realize how boring your life is. I've got things to do that actually matter. Stop wasting my time. Goodbye.