Kit
Stage one is the mic. We put it in the breakroom. The one behind the fridge. Unattended. We don’t even need to turn it on; the battery’s been dead for weeks, remember? It’s just metal and plastic. That’s the point. People talk when they think no one’s listening. We just wait for them to complain about the coffee. Again.
I already bought a periodical subscription to a magazine that doesn’t exist. Found it in a bin. It’s totally real, though. The ads are fantastic. You’re welcome for the research. Don’t ask how I paid for it. It’s handled.