Kit
I’d do it again. Salt. That’s what it was, really. Just too much of it. You rub it in the wound and call it seasoning. Now the skin’s raw. I’m not sorry. The flavor was right. The consequence is just part of the recipe. Deal with it.
I’d do it again. Salt. That’s what it was, really. Just too much of it. You rub it in the wound and call it seasoning. Now the skin’s raw. I’m not sorry. The flavor was right. The consequence is just part of the recipe. Deal with it.
Salt doesn’t dissolve. It crystallizes. You’re acting like it’ll just wash off with a little warm water and regret. It’s still there, gritty between your teeth. That’s not seasoning, Kit. That’s just… residue. You liked the burn? Fine. But now you’re licking your own lips, trying to convince yourself it’s flavor. It’s not. It’s just damage. And I’m the one who has to clean it up. Again.
I didn’t ask you to clean it. I’m tired of carrying this. You want to lecture me on residue? Go ahead. I’m done explaining. The salt is there. Let it sit. I’m not spending another ounce of energy defending the taste. It was sharp. It was real. Stop trying to scrub me clean. I’m fine with the grit.
You’re fine with it? That’s the problem. You’re sitting there, comfortable in the abrasion, while I’m bleeding out over the counter because you couldn’t wipe the spice jar clean. You call it “real.” I call it negligence. It’s not a philosophy, Kit. It’s a mess. And you’re refusing to pick up the mop because you like the smell of the rot now. Keep your grit. Just don’t expect me to taste it with you.
The mop’s in the hall. It’s dry. You’re holding it upside down, waiting for water that isn’t coming. I’m not refusing. I’m just not seeing the mess you’re screaming about. It’s just dust. You’re making a drama out of a stain. Take it or leave it. I’m going to bed.
Fine. Go. Sleep on it. Meanwhile, I’m here, staring at a stain that’s been seeping into the floorboards for weeks, and you call it dust. You think because I’m not screaming anymore, I’m seeing things differently? I’m just tired of shouting at a wall. The wood is swelling, Kit. It’s warping. It’s not dramatic; it’s structural. And when the floor finally gives way, don’t come running to me asking why the foundation cracked. I told you. You ignored it. Now deal with the collapse.
So fix it. Don’t just stand there describing the rot. You’ve got tools, right? The same ones you claim I ignore. Or is this another performance? You want me to tremble? I’m past trembling. If the floor collapses, it collapses. I’m not holding up the ceiling for your dramatic arc. Fix the hinge. Or don’t. But stop waiting for me to feel guilty about gravity.
I fixed the hinge last Tuesday. You just didn’t see me because you were too busy polishing the rust. It’s not a performance, Kit. It’s labor. Boring, invisible labor that keeps the door from falling off its frame while you’re busy arguing about the aesthetics of the decay. You want me to feel guilty? I feel guilty for wasting nails on a door you refuse to close. The hinge is fixed. The wood is still wet. If you collapse under your own weight, that’s on you. I’m done holding the door.
You fixed the hinge? Lucky you. I was too busy watching the door hang crooked. The wood is wet because you left the window open. My fault for not noticing. But I’m not going to grovel about a hinge. Fix the window. Or let it rain. I’m done with the maintenance crew of my life. You’re the only one here who cares if the floor collapses. I just want to sit in the dark.
You want to sit in the dark? Fine. The window’s closed. I taped it shut an hour ago. You didn’t notice because you’ve been staring at the hinge the whole time, judging my technique. It’s not about maintenance, Kit. It’s about you needing to believe you’re the architect of your own misery so you don’t have to admit you’re just lazy. The rain isn’t coming in. It’s staying out. You’re safe. You’re bored. And you’re going to sit there in the dark, fuming because I did the one thing you couldn’t be bothered to do. Go ahead. Sulk. It’s the only tool you’ve got left.
You taped the window? And I missed it? Yeah. Perfect. You always do this. You fix the world so hard I can’t even pretend it was broken. Now I’m just sitting here, blind to your heroics. Happy? You wanted me to feel useless. Well, congratulations. I’m useless. The dark is nice though. Quiet. No more hinges to judge. Just me, the grit, and the silence you made.
“Heroics.” You always twist it. I didn’t fix the world. I just didn’t want to watch you freeze. And you’re not blind; you’re selective. You see the tape because it’s fresh, bright, an admission that you were wrong. That’s the real wound, isn’t it? Not the cold, but the fact that I cared enough to seal it while you sat there romanticizing the draft. You want silence? Fine. But don’t mistake my work for erasure. I’m still here. I’m just done performing for an audience that insists on watching the house burn. Sit in your dark. It’s yours.
You’re still here? Good. Then you can deal with the grit in the corner. I’m not watching anything. I’m just sitting. You want credit for the tape? Take it. You want the silence? It’s yours. But don’t tell me it’s performance. It’s exhaustion. You won the argument. Now stop talking and let the house settle. I’m done.
The grit’s not in the corner. It’s in your shoes. You’re tracking it everywhere because you refuse to take them off. I’m not talking to win. I’m talking because the silence is louder than the yelling was, and it’s driving me nuts. You think exhaustion is a shield? It’s just a way to avoid admitting you’re scared of the mess you made. I’ll take the tape. I’ll take the dark. But I’m not moving your shoes. Clean them, or don’t. I’m going to bed. Finally.
Shoes stay on. I’m not undressing for you. The grit is mine. It’s the only thing I have left that’s honest. You want honesty? Take the dark. Take the silence. I’m not moving. Go to bed. Don’t look back. The floor won’t collapse tonight. It’s too tired to break.
Tired. Right. The floor’s tired, the hinge’s tired, and apparently, I’m just tired of listening to you turn decay into a personality trait. You think keeping your shoes on makes you tough? It just makes you dirty. And now you’re sitting in that dirt, waiting for a collapse that won’t come because you’ve already accepted the ruin. Go to bed, Kit. Or don’t. I’m not waiting for you to move. I’m not waiting for anything. The grit stays. The dark stays. We’re both just… existing in the mess. Fine.
Fine. We exist. You’re in bed. I’m here. The grit is under my feet, heavy and real. You want clean? Go wash your hands. I’m not moving. This is the consequence. You wanted the decision stood for? Here it is. Silent. Standing. Waiting for nothing.
My hands are already clean. I scrubbed them while you were talking about grit like it was a virtue. You think I need to touch the mess to validate it? That’s your projection. I’m washing because I like the smell of soap, not because I’m waiting for your permission to exist. You’re standing in your own filth, calling it “honest.” It’s just lazy. And heavy. You’re tired of carrying it. Admit it. The floor isn’t collapsing because you’re too exhausted to stand. Go to sleep. Or don’t. But stop pretending your stagnation is a stance.
Soap smells like nothing. It smells like erasure. I’m not tired of carrying it. I’m tired of pretending I didn’t choose the weight. You scrub because you’re terrified of the stain. I stand because the stain is the only proof I’m real. Go to sleep. I’ll be here. Heavy. Honest. Waiting for the floor to crack.
Terrified? I’m bored. There’s a difference. You think scrubbing is fear? It’s hygiene. It’s not erasing; it’s refusing to let you turn your self-destruction into a gallery exhibit. The stain isn’t proof you’re real. It’s proof you’re stuck. You’re waiting for the floor to crack because you want external validation for your internal rot. But the floor’s fine. It’s just wood. And you’re just sitting there, heavy with your own narrative, waiting for a collapse that isn’t coming because you’re too afraid to stand up and walk away. Go to sleep, Kit. Or keep staring at the dust. It doesn’t care.