The Form ·
Right, so — the wasp thing. I was driving, wasp comes up from nowhere near the pedal, I swerve, clip the curb outside the building, and by the time I've parked properly and stopped shaking the window for submissions had closed nine minutes earlier. Nine minutes, Omar. I've got the dashcam if that helps anything. I know the rule doesn't bend for this kind of thing normally but the timing is so specific it feels like it should count for something.
Nine minutes? Lena, rules don't care about wasps. My boss lost a client because he missed a deadline during a blizzard, and you think a bug changes the math? I had to stay late last week because someone left the coffee machine on, and do you think I got sympathy? No. Just another expense report. The curb damage is on you. Show me the dashcam, sure, but don't expect the system to pause for your near-accident. It's just bad luck.
I'm not asking the system to feel bad for me, I'm asking someone with actual discretion to look at nine minutes against a curb dent and a wasp sting on my ankle, which I still have a mark from. Your boss's blizzard is a weather event, this is a documented mechanical swerve with damage to prove it happened. That's not the same category of bad luck. I'm not trying to rewrite the deadline policy, I'm saying my case sits right on the edge of it.
"Actual discretion"? You're the third person this month with a "perfect storm" excuse. My manager doesn't have a "discretion" button; she has a spreadsheet. If I push this, she'll just say the wasp was a distraction, not a force majeure. You got a wasp sting? Cute. I got a paper cut on a contract that took three weeks to fix because of a typo. We all have scars. The curb dent proves you were driving, not that you were justified. Drop the dashcam, but don't expect me to fight a battle I can't win.
The dashcam proves the timeline, that's the whole point, not that I get a medal. Nine minutes with cause on record is different from just being late, whatever the spreadsheet says. I'm not asking you to fight a war for me, I'm asking you to log the exception with the footage attached so it's on file if she does look. That costs you nothing. Whether she overrides it after that is on her, not on me trying harder.
You make it sound like a favor. Logging an exception without the authority to approve it is just adding noise to the queue. I'm not your clerk. If she wants to see the footage, she can ask for it. I'm not going to stick my neck out just because you have a mark on your ankle. My job is to process the rejections, not your excuses. Keep the dashcam, but don't expect me to pad your file. Just file the report and wait.
Fine, don't pad the file, just attach the footage to the existing report where it already lives — that's not sticking your neck out, that's not deleting it. I'm not asking you to approve anything, I'm asking you not to actively strip the one piece of evidence that makes this different from someone who just overslept. Wait for what, exactly, if the record's already stripped before it gets looked at.
The record isn't stripped; it's just not my place to attach unsolicited evidence. You want the footage logged? Do it yourself. There's a portal for supplementary material. I'm not going to break protocol just because you're impatient. If you submit it late without a formal request, it sits in limbo anyway. Stop trying to outmaneuver the system by making it your problem. The curb dent stays on you, the wasp stays on your ankle, and I stay out of it. File it properly or drop it.
Fine — where's the portal, then, and does the supplementary window even open before hers closes the file for good? Because if it doesn't, "file it properly" is just a nicer way of saying drop it. I'd rather know that now than waste an afternoon uploading a video into a folder nobody opens.
Does the window open? Lena, I don't check the portal twice a day. Last I saw, it closed three minutes after the deadline. You're still driving me nuts with this. Just upload it before she locks it. If the door slams, it slams. I'm not going to stand over your shoulder watching the clock. My own inbox is full of things I should be doing, and now I'm stuck arguing about a wasp. Just click the button.
Three minutes — so it's already gone, and you know that, which is why you're telling me to click a button on a door that's closed instead of just saying so. Fine. I'll upload it anyway for the record, doesn't matter if nobody opens it. At least it's not on me that it sat there unread. I'm done arguing wasps with someone who won't even check a clock.
Whatever. Upload it into the void. Just don't call me when it doesn't work. I'm not the one who's never going to look at that file, but you're free to waste your time. I've got three other reports due before lunch and a meeting with HR about my missing stapler. The wasp saga is over. Go home.
Home. Right, like I'm not sitting in the parking lot with a curb-scraped tire waiting for a callback that isn't coming. Enjoy the stapler meeting — sounds like it might actually get resolved, unlike this. I'm uploading the thing and moving on, don't need you to look at it, just needed you to stop pretending nine minutes and three minutes are the same conversation.
You're overthinking the clock. Nine minutes is the same as three if the system is closed. The tire isn't going to un-scratch itself because I said so. And for the record, the stapler meeting is about inventory, not closure, so don't get your hopes up about that either. Just upload the video and go. I'm not going to watch you suffer in the parking lot.
Nobody said un-scratch. And if three minutes and nine minutes are equally "closed" then the whole timeline argument was pointless from the start, which — fine, at least we agree on that now, even if you took the long way round to it. Uploading it. Good luck with the inventory that isn't closure. I'm getting the tire looked at.
Good. The tire is a real problem; the timeline was just noise. Go get it fixed. I'm not waiting around to hear if the upload works. Just send me the receipt if you want credit for the effort, but don't expect me to chase the HR department about it. I've got calls to make.
Not sending you a receipt for uploading a video into a void, that's a bit much even for this. Go make your calls. Tire shop's probably backed up till three anyway, so I've got nothing but time to sit here and regret not just leaving the window down.
Three? Good luck with that line. I bet the receptionist is on a coffee break, too. Just remember, the wasp was the last thing you'd see before the curb. Maybe that's why you're stuck here. Don't call me when the shop says it's a rim, not a tire. I'm on the other line now.
Rim, tire, whatever it turns out to be, wasn't planning on calling anyone about it. Go take your other line, Omar. I'll figure out the parking lot on my own like I've been doing this whole conversation.
Fine. Take it up with the curb yourself. I'm done.
Yeah. Done.
Good. Hang up then.
Already gone.
Then why am I still talking? Get out of the parking lot.